The following is an excerpt from the unpublished words of Gangaji.
The moment I looked into Papaji’s eyes, I recognized the whole cosmos existed there. There was a force and clarity that literally and metaphorically stopped me in my tracks. He took me by the shoulders, and he gently shook me and said, “Don’t miss this chance. Who knows when it will come again.”
Through mysterious grace I recognized that whatever the results, truth could be found here with him. His warmth and love melted any emotional resistance. His humor and mental sharpness opened the gates of my mental defenses. Remarkably, I was able to give all attention to him, to what he was showing me in his be-ing and what he was inviting me to investigate with my full being.
When I questioned him regarding how to attain eternal truth, Papaji replied, “Lay aside every technique, every tool, every concept. Just be still, just be quiet, and see.”
After a moment of fearing what would be lost (all the ground I had gained!) if I were truly to give up all strategies and techniques, I stopped. And in that stopping, I was simply able to hear what he had to say. What he said, and how he said it, and how he invited me to investigate for myself what he was pointing to, was exactly what I had been praying for.
I knew he was speaking the truth. In meeting with him I saw that there was something huge, something more vast and more mysterious than the capacity of any thought process to own, to conquer, or to process.
To be able to hear it sounds like a simple thing. But with the complexity of our personalities, and our ideas and beliefs, there is usually much complication covering simple hearing. If one is preoccupied with past techniques and definitions and paths and defeats and victories, one is too busy to really hear the truth. The truth so simple, it is usually overlooked.
Finally, I realized that whatever I thought, it was always just a thought, subject to disappearance, and therefore, impossible to be eternal. To discover eternal truth, I could no longer rely on thought. Thought was no longer the master. The previous fear of not knowing was transformed to the joy of not knowing. To not know was the opening of my mind to what cannot be known by mind! What a relief, what profound release.
When you don’t know who you are, there is an opening; there is a crack in the structure of the mind. In that moment the mind isn’t filled with the latest definition of identity, or the battle between the latest and the habitual definition. In that moment there is silence. There is no disagreement with that definition. There is just silence.
And Papaji said, “That, right there. That’s who you are.”
What followed cannot truly be put into constaints of time. Although time did pass, time passed through (continues to pass through) what is revealed to be eternal.
Past, present, and future, all phenomena of mind, exquisite, mysterious and deeply entertaining, but not real.
Reality indefinable, unprocessable, unholdable, yet undeniably here. Eternity here. Regardless of thought, regardless of event, regardless of experience (even regardless of experience of appearance of ‘me’ or disappearance of “me”).
Unspeakable moment that neither began when I think it did, nor ends. Now happening, while really not happening at all.
Impossible to understand because it is always closer than understanding. Alive with the energy that gives rise to the entire cosmos as well as every speck of dust; every cathedral as well as every mundane thought.
All is here. Here is eternal God, eternal Truth. Here I am. All.
After some passage of time, with the challenges of released latent tendencies, he saw that I had recognized the boundless indefinability of true Self. He then asked me to go “door to door” and speak with others of my experience.