Amma’s anguish reached a pinnacle. Her prayers had been said. In her own words,
Each and every pore of my body was wide-open with yearning, each atom of my body was vibrating with the sacred mantra, my entire being was rushing twoards the Divine Mother in a torrential stream…
In unspeakable agony she cried out,
O Mother… here is Your child about to die drowing in unfathomable distress… This heart is breaking… These limbs are faltering… I am convulsing like a fish thrown on shore… O Mother, You have no kindness towards me… I have nothing left to offer You except the last breath of my life…
Her voice became chocked. Her breathing completely stopped. Sudhamani fell unconscious. The Will of the Mother designates the moment. The Divine Enchantress of the Universe, the Omniscient, the Omnipresent, the Omnipotent Being, the Ancient, Primal Creatrix, the Divine Mother, appeared before Amma in a living form dazzling like a million suns. Amma’s heart overflowed in a tidal wave of unspeakable Love and Bliss. The Divine Mother beningly smiled and, becoming a Pure Effulgence, merged in Sudhamani.
What followed is best described in Amma’s own composition “Ananda Veethi” or “The Path of Bliss,” wherein she has tried to make intelligible that mystical union which is beyond mind or intellect.
Once upon a time, my soul was dancing
In delight through the Path of Bliss.
At that time, all the inner foes such as
Attraction and aversion ran away hiding
Themselves in the innermost recesses of my mind.
Forgetting myself, I merged in a golden dream
Which arose within me. As noble aspirations
Clearly manifested themselves in my mind,
The Divine Mother, with bright, gentle hands,
Caressed my head. With bowed head, I told
Mother that my life is dedicated to Her.
Smiling, She became a Divine Effulgence
And merged in me. My mind blossomed,
Bathed in the many-hued Light of Divinity
And the events of millions of years gone by
Rose up within me. Thenceforth,
Seeing nothing as apart from my own Self
A single Unity, and merging in the Divine Mother
I renounced all sense of enjoyment.
Mother told me to ask the people
To fulfill their human birth.
Therefore, I proclaim to the whole world
The sublime Truth that She uttered,
“Oh man, merge in your Self!”
Thousands and thousands of yogis
Have taken birth in India and
Lived the principles visualized by the
Great Sages of the unknown past.
To remove the sorrow of humanity,
How many naked truths are there!
Today I tremble with bliss
Recollecting Mother’s words,
“Oh my darling, come to Me
Leaving all other works.
You are always Mine.”
O Pure Consciousness
O Embodiment of Truth,
I will heed Your words
O Mother, why are You late in coming?
Why did You give this birth?
I know nothing, O Mother,
Please forgive my mistakes.
At this point Amma developed a strong aversion toward everything. She would dig big holes to hide herself in so as to escape from the diverse world and sensuous-minded people. She spent her days and nights enjoying the perennial Bliss of God-realization and avoided all human company. If anyone had considered her mad before, they would stand firmly convinced of her insanity now. Who among these fisherfolk could conceive of the plane of consciousness in which the little one was established? Though internally, Amma had crossed the threshold into the Absolute, externally she was the same crazy Amma who was possessed three nights a week by Krishna as far as the family and villagers were concerned. The only recent change, if they had noticed any at all, was that instead of rolling in the sand she was now digging big holes.
One day Amma heard a voice from within her say, “My child, I dwell in the heart of all beings and have no fixed abode. Your birth is not for merely enjoying the unalloyed Bliss of the Self but for comforting suffering humanity. Henceforth worship Me in the hearts of all beings and relieve them of the sufferings of worldly existence…”
It was after this inner call that Amma started manifesting Devi Bhava, the Mood of the Divine Mother, in addition to the Krishna Bhava. At these times she revealed her incessant oneness with the Divine Mother…
“From that day onwards I could see nothing as different from my own Formless Self wherein the entire universe exists as a tiny bubble…”